I drove around for hours, I drove around for days

2:29am: shit shit shit
We are leaving so soon.

Gonna go to canada, see animal collective and no age, i want to goooo.


this will be amazing!

6:34pm: durdurdur
BUTTSMASH

8:22am: My icon is what I really look like right now
JORDAN'S SHIT TO DO BEFORE SHE MOVES AWAY FOREVER/ROADTRIPLOL

Get sunglasses
Get new regular glasses
GET chapel terrace apartment
WE ARE SO DUMB notarize and email form thinger
Set orientation date
After I GODDAMN GRADUATE CHRIST
And mail my SAT scores
Get car looked at/tires rotated/etc.
Clean car
Take out back seat
Buy roadtrip supplies/pack up car
Get the insurance card from charlie (since I apparently have the wrong thing)
Toss that anti-baby ring into my vagina
Cut bangs
Finish making all those shirt stencil ideas
Stock up for move to Tallatalla (dry rice and beans, kitchen supplies, blankets sheets and towels, a brita filter? shit i have no clue LAMPS we need lamps)
Famiry time
Organise all my computer shit onto the laptop, clean everyone else's shit off, it is mine!
READ FOREVER
Have rad party
Oshit FAFSA

And I don't know. Make it feel like when I move away I am leaving no loose ends? I guess that's what everyone wants when they leave a home but how many achieve it?
Oh also I should probably look into getting a gohonzon and cheap bustudon before I move I guess.

11:30pm: OH MY GOOOOOD
WHY IS ADULT ED
TAKING SO GODDAMN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG


I WANT TO BE ON A ROADTRIP RIGHT THE FUCK NOOOOOOW.

12:29am: In a new house. Missing our old crab shell; too many hermits fighting over one space. And there's so much clutter it's driving me crazy.

Citrus makes me feel clean; tomorrow adam is getting his license, helping me wash my dreads.


I don't miss the internet, I almost wish it would go away again, because i just waste time and become an insomniac and get nothing done.

2:18pm: Tortillas
Mexicans knew what they were doing.

Things to eat:
Oranges
Beans
Home made flour tortillas
Whatever fruit I can get my hands on.

And it's summer so corn and tomatoes and cucumber and zuchinni and nom nom nom nom

I love the Florida heat! And all its oppressive power.

4:06pm: woooooooooo internet
driving around and eating out of the back of my car and things to stomp about and planning an excavation of a personal sort; we're going to get ourselves out of here.

9:56pm: they are going out to bars and they are getting into cars
arrr i'm obsessed with this song.

I like Adam. I like my job; it my not be the most stimulating of things, but i am learning new things. I'm taking my license test tuesday, and then I'm going to call Panda Bear about visiting for a couple days, driving down to Boca, seeing my grandma on weekends, maybe even picking up Adam from school.

I know I need to eat better, save more, play bass more, learn stick, take better care of my plants and my pet, but the weather is slowly warming and I am feeling content. But maybe that is a bad thing.



Tomorrow is a free day, maybe the last for a while again, and I plan for the beach, the salt air, sweet things on my tongue, a good start again, and I can do anything I set out to do.

My fists will pump wildly for the sun! I am a dirty, itchy, salty creature!

11:00pm: Now that everyone is here
can I please have your attention

There is nothing left to fear
now that Bigfoot is captured.

11:47am: INTERNETJORDAN
I still have the same bad habits I've always had.

But I still think I'm working very hard.

I want this road trip in a vw bus. No other way is acceptable!

1:43pm: I still feel off!
I'm not doing something right. Aaaaand I'm pretty sure the new owners at work don't like me and can't wait for me to leave. And I snapped a bass string, or chord, or whatever because i always say the wrong thing, already.
I woke up this morning feeling middle-school depressed. I hate this feeling.

I'm chanting, putting in a pizza, and watching planet earth while i draw. I've been outside all day and it's just giving me a headache. Which is weird. For me.

It's that fucking turn-18-and-fun-dies shit, I swear.
Or red tide.
Or maybe red tide exist to steal fun from people who just turned 18, and it shows up to collect it every year or so. Fun, I mean.

Either way, I'm not going to the beach because of dead man of wars and plagues, and it sucks.

In middle school I was really depressed, but it was okay because I planned to rule the world.

12:12am: I don't know
I've been having fun but I just feel kind of
off

Like bad, but not like anything's wrong.
I bet it's because I haven't been to the beach in fucking forever.

12:25pm: I'm still really upset
about my rosemary plant.

12:02am: One day, you'll be just like us
i JUST DON'T KNOW.
Tomorrow I am WAKING UP and taking my permit test. No way around it.
I LIED about going to school tonight. I think it was good because anthony drove and we talked and it's good. but also right now I NEED A DIPLOMA. stat. I still LIE ABOUT IT A LOT. I need to cut that out. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one! I MISS TOO MUCH SCHOOL FUCKERS.

I LOVE the band METRIC. Tons.

I need a BASS, a SUBMARINE CAR, and a HOME FOR MY RABBIT. But I love my rabbit. I love sitting outside with him. But I need to get ready to leave and that means cutting back on a lot.

I'm afraid the LITTLE THINGS I spend money on are going to use up money better spent on the road trip. Like three dollars on pizza. A dollar at work for a half-off lemon bar. Shit like that adds up. I hear about Donny's rich ass pimp grandma, who made her kids walk to school three miles so she could save the nickel buss fare every day. I need to be like that.

I also need to PUMP AIR INTO MY MOM'S BIKE TIRES. I should RIDE BIKE to work. I'll get there quicker, and I need to get better at riding. Seriously, I am a WIMP at pedaling long distances.

I AM SO FUCKING STOKED about clubbing on my birthday. You guys have no idea. I am going to DANCE with strangers. To MUSIC. And people hopefully won't think I'm a FAGGOT for it.

Sometime in december we are trying to work out a DRUM CIRCLE at the coffee shop. Everyone should join. I have been told I will be allowed to play TAMBOURINE. I FUCKING LOVE TAMBOURINES.

Adam is going to be gone all of thanksgiving break. I will be SUPER DEPRESSED so I will need people to distract me. Also it's my birthday weekend so you faggots should plan sleepovers with me involved. We don't do that enough anymore. I will have a BASS and I'll want to go on ADVENTURES and we can be the COOL KIDS we know we are. Also downtown melbourne amish store photojerk trips PLZ.

DECEMBER SECOND, I WILL NOT MISS THE KOSEN RUFU MEETING. I JUST WON'T.

So those are some things.

11:56pm: I don't believe in God, but he's sent me on a mission.
Meeting somebody like him in that way just makes me so happy, and so does the worn paperback he remembered to lend me. Saturday was amazing guys.

Guys don't tell Adam
that even when he's been really annoyed all day and I act like I'm annoyed too
I really just love walking around everywhere and yelling and running
And bitching about shit while we sit on the grass in front of BK with my puppy and french fries.
And ships out on the dark horizon that look like fireballs because I don't wear glasses when I should.

I want to paaaaaaaaaaaaint. I want to paaaaaiiiiiiinnntttt. But I love spending all my free time at the beach. I love the sand-is-built-into-your-skin-and-hair feeling. And moldy green dreads, and pictures of my friends, and laughing too hard at birds that land on Sam's car at stoplights.

That's it, I'm busting out my kid's watercolor kit.


ALSO BIG DEAL HERE Braces off tomorrow guys!!!!!

10:02pm: So






That was Halloween.




I think if I could pace myself and only said things if I meant them I'd be doing really good.

3:38pm: Okay so last year in the month of october I made two lj entries and this year in the month of october i made two lj entries, and the month ends in a day and I don't want to leave it like that it's weird.

So uh

WHERE ARE WE GOING TOMORROW NIGHT. Any spooky graveyard plans? Anything guys?

1:23pm: Classy Lady
So I just ended up in a really nice restaurant with my dad in the clothes I wore last night and fell asleep in, my dreads smelling like moldy beach, my giant bear hoodie, ripped shoes and jeans, unwashed and un-deodorant'd.

The food was so good, I'm not eating for a while because I don't want to erase the taste from my mouth. Jesus. It was that grapevine place that spawned off the green turtle? It was like asdfghj. And no more expensive than crisper's is. And I want to go back. Everyday. And this guy who comes into the coffee shop to talk to frankie about starting a band all the time works there, haha.

My dad and I talked about cooking and shoes and different things. It was fun getting to see him. I'm glad I didn't hang up when he called me drunk and bitchy last night.


Also I forgot I had butt drawn on my hand. And I slept so that the ink left a butt stain on the inside of my other arm. Yeah.

11:21pm: I think
I will be a toilet paper mummy for Halloween.

feeling weird. anxious again, even though I'm busy.

i want to love this town. i want to know this town. i want to rock this town.
but more than anything i want to get away, to get a bus filled with cool people and drive away and never look back, to move away to Gainesville and find a job there and live in an apartment with Adam and go to rock shows and make new friends and have my dreads for years and shave them into a dread mohawk and then do a bunch of crazy hair styles.

but that's being impatient, i have a lot to do before i leave. and the rest of my life after college to worry about.

When I leave next year mid-june for the northeast and greatoutwest, i want to be happy with the things i know and am learning and where i am going.



So honey and sea salt exfoliant made with a tiny fork is my new favorite thing. I'm trying not to be too concerned with appearances or anything, just making this stuff and having it work really well makes me really excited. And not shaving is weird. I keep on looking at the hair like 'oh god i remember you what do you want from me'.

12:39pm: jesus
homecoming was GAY
the only thing that made it worthwhile was the picture Adam took outside.
And the afro.
R.I.P.

the wind is amazing.
Our bench is in our pool
the rabbits are excited, and it feels like autumn for once.

Cave Story and sleepovers and today we are going to be neat kids!

10:59am: Goddamn
What the fuck is the point of encouraging me to save money if you're making me pay for the SAT on my own?
Jesus christ.
No, seriously, if we are not paying for internet, tv, or a home phone (and all our cellphones share minutes) then there is no fucking reason you do not have the cash on hand to pay for me to take the SAT/ACT. The utilities are high in this house, but you showed me your budget. What the fuck are you doing? You said you could spend $50 a week on me excluding food, and surprise, I never even ask for close to that much. What are you spending it on? I don't even think patricia gets that much shit in one week. I knew this would happen but it doesn't make fucking sense.

I'm going to have to work two jobs, at this rate.

12:21pm: bein' responsible
so I ended up making a huge list of things I need and want to do.
I'm going to type them up here and organize them,
mainly because I love using strike code

Responsible Things:
Wake up early, go to bed early
Laundry
Chant in the morning/evening
put away dishes
set up clothesline
bag goodwill stuff
clean rabbit cages
walk Silver
do push-ups
scrub shower/tub
call my grandma/dad/brother
kick adult ed's ass
change water filter
take permit test
stir compost
get new glasses frames
make ortho appointment
drive a car
volunteer at BCA
Memorise coffee recipes
weed yard
help set up roach motels
get my things out of the garage
write my grandma a letter
figure out Santa Fe


Semi-Responsible Projects:
Cut out polaroid frames
Hang polaroid pictures
Read all the books I've borrowed
Find my gentleman's companion books
sort clothes
Make shirts
explore town
go to the beach forever
burn CD's
shave my legs
decorate my CD case
burn incense
make post cards
look up new bands
learn bass (call bill)
play harmonica
take pictures
draw and paint
sell things
master DDR
be really nice to everyone
take pictures of all my friends doing cool things
organise found photographs
roll coins in roadtrip jar
go to thrift stores
sew knee patches on my jeans
palm roll dreads
buy more toothpaste
climb more trees
replant Bulbasaur; trim flowers from my Dad!tree
get potting soil
stop picking at pimples
watch: life aquatic, 12 monkies, that 9-11 documentary, Adam's gay faggot movies, Grudge 2, Queer as Folk season 4 & 5, Firefly, the sea was watching
make eye contact
not wear shoes
save money and receipts
play video games with Adam
Get an apartment with Adam
write on old telephone receiver
buy a crowbar
climb chainlink fences in corduroy pants
explore the burnt out warehouse
ride bikes down st Patrick with a camera
be really cute
spend the night on my roof
Stencil shit
Make wings from cardboard and fake feathers; go to the beach and take polaroid pictures; make a new lj layout
fix typewriter
make beeswax candles

11:44pm: Some things:
These are the pretty flowers with weird fruit:



This is the base of the crazy spikey tree things I love:



This is a thing I found at an unexplored area:



These are the seeds I am so excited about:

4:57pm: guys
I think I have the best job ever.
besidesscrubbingthosefuckingtiles

Even if I don't like drinking coffee as much, I love coming home smelling like it.
And everyone is COOL DUDE.
And we have battles!

though i got my period and have cramps like balls, so I am opting out of school to take hot showers and watch queer as folk.

11:14pm: omg fun
( Yar, there be blurry pictures here. Yar. )

So yeah, working at east coast is awesome. Coffeefuckyeah and shit. Earnin' monies. Taking my permit test tomorrow night or the day after, Adam needs to check job at photoplace, we are cool dudes.